The Black Mark On Your Permanent Record

- Out of nowhere

I'm inclined to write for the sake of writing just because i can, just because i know someone out there will inadvertantly stumble upon these words (and decide to throw themself out the window), just because i feel i have space i need to fill. Like putting a chair in some corner of the living room (not naming any names here) just because "it looks plain"- something just needs to be there. Not very practical. Or, if you prefer, practically impractical. Just like this paragraph, which i included to make no sense whatsoever.

I'm sure you noticed the lack of introduction in this post. If you didnt, it's fine, i wont persecute you for it. Dumbass. Hi, my name is JeremyR. I've never used a computer and i cannoto speakah engrish. Im not materialistic (except when it comes to anything i own) and enjoy long walks on short beaches. I can cook (my speciality's called a "bread sandwich") and am a fucking polite, decent man. Did i mention i dont have a blog?

So today i'm going to talk about Runescape- A game which i had the misfortune of watching someone play in a local Lan Shop. A game which prides itself in having spread across the interweb like the plague did Europe. Except Runescape probably got more casualties, doesnt need the assistance of rats, and probably more deadly. Symptons include extreme boredom, brain retardation, and fear of the outside world. Oh well, it's all the devil's work.

when Runescape is in play, cry and lose 10 IQ per second.

Runescape is an online Role playing game. Basically what this means is that you control a virtual character to collect virtual items, which you use to collect MORE virtual items. These items serve no purpose save for showing them off to people you're never going to meet, or friends who couldnt care. All the while, you'll meet other people, all of which are in the same predicament as you: they're stuck in the game. Hey, misery loves company.

But RPGs can sometimes be fun. The thrill of collecting items and beating up monsters via mouseclick is addictive to the max. That and sometimes, you can sell these items for money. Throw in exciting, vivid graphics to suck the person into the character itself, and fast gameplay to get him or her glued to the screen, andrenaline pumping, and you've got something decent.

Massively popular Runescape has none of those.

The game itself looks like it's been drawn out by a four year old with a brain tumour. First, the people look like big lobs of random pixels put together, with arms. The colours are either dull and boring, or bright enough to give you a seizure- combine this with the fact that most things are patternless and have only one colour to begin with, and you're looking at drawings a fetus with a colour pencil would be ashamed of. It's filled with basic shapes, nothing dynamic and diverse here! It's only redeeming quality: it runs on a "3D engine". Which isnt saying much when "3D" is actually just 2D objects popping out of large, badly coloured blocks. It's very sad when a game from a pc loses graphics-wise to an etch-a-sketch.

Will run without a graphics card.

Which brings me to my next point: How much action can you store in a game that has less graphic potential than 3 grains of sand? Well, sometimes, enough. Pacman and tetris had bad graphics, they turned out ok. Most gameboy graphics are horrible, but it's still something that will keep me entertained if i had absolutely nothing else to do. These games made you use at least 10% of your brain. They had action. Bad graphics, but hey, action.

Not Runescape. In Runescape you have fights involving 2 blobs of pixels next to each other repeating a single frame of animation, while the user has the back breaking task of clicking furiously at the same spot over and over. Meanwhile, little red pixels (i'll assume its blood) will start flying about, displaying the games' graphic capabilities at its time. Throw in grunting, moaning, and bad porno music in the background, and you've got yourself a game as exciting as notepad.

Rated M17+ for intense graphic violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language.

There isnt much else to say about Runescape except for the idiocy of the game in general. Seriously folks, im sure you've got more exciting ways to spend your time. Here, try this: Take a bowl, put it in a microwave, and turn the microwave on. I swear, the results will amaze you. Other fun activities involve watching paint dry and watching grass grow - cheer with your friends for added social fun("GROW GROW GROW! GROW GROW GROW!). Whatever the choice, i'm sure it'll be healthier for your head.

Or what's left of it.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 at 3:52 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.